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White House National Security Adviser John Bolton told Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu that the U.S. may still order a military strike against Iran. What... [Read More]
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It's an honest-to-god redemption story: After admitting to friends and family that he had developed a serious problem, 32-year-old gaming addict Trevor Osborne revealed this... [Read More]
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MILWAUKEE, WI—Asserting that the rough-and-tumble style of play he learned on Mount Olympus was the reason he is here today, Giannis Antetokounmpo told reporters Tuesday... [Read More]
Obesity rates among U.S. preschoolers have dropped from 16% in 2010 to 14% this year, offering hope that school dietary changes may have helped curb... [Read More]
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WASHINGTON—Amid escalating tensions with the hostile celestial object, National Security Adviser John Bolton argued for military action against the Sun Monday after being presented with... [Read More]
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BROOKLYN—Doomed to wander the Earth imprisoned by a complexion requiring both mattifying and hydrating products, sources confirmed Monday that wretched outcast of a woman Hattie... [Read More]
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All the latest politics coverage from The Onion, America's finest news source. [Read More]
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CINCINNATI—Springing into action within moments of seeing the plastic cup topple over, hero coworker Brian Alvarez contributed a single tissue to the water-spill cleanup efforts... [Read More]
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WASHINGTON—Fingering a few chords while approaching the lectern at the press conference, the nation's men holding acoustic guitars announced their plans Monday to idly strum... [Read More]
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HOUSTON—Commemorating the veteran big man for the minutes worth of contributions he made to a great Rockets team, Nenê Hilario was honored as the Tenth... [Read More]
The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source. [Read More]
The Trump EPA has rolled out a plan known as the Affordable Clean Energy rule, which will weaken Obama-era regulations and could increase carbon emissions.... [Read More]
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TULSA, OK—Saying he had almost completely forgotten the longest day of the year was approaching, local resident Phil Garrison suddenly remembered it was the summer... [Read More]
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On this episode of Are We Blair Yet?, Onion Travel vlogger Blair Ryleigh shows you how to eat on the cheap in Los Angeles by... [Read More]
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HOUSTON—Attempting to set the record straight about reports of a toxic work relationship between the two players, James Harden and Chris Paul publicly denied rumors... [Read More]
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WASHINGTON—Demanding that the Middle Eastern nation retaliate immediately in self-defense against the existential threat posed by America's military operations, National Security Adviser John Bolton called... [Read More]
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The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source. [Read More]
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The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source. [Read More]
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The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source. [Read More]
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GENEVA—Calling the literal embrace of high-speed rail traffic "an endemic among pea-brained morons across the country," the World Health Organization confirmed Friday that attempts at... [Read More]
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